Foundations in the Doctrine of Marriage part 3
In this message we are going to Consider both the spiritual and natural concepts taught to us in Ephesians 5, that Christ is the perfect husband, and the Church of the Israel of God is the bride, with in this mysterious framework the children of the churches next generation are learning from the example of their mother’s submission to the Word of Christ. We will also focus upon what the Ordinances and Law teaches us about the example a father and mother have upon the children they have made, children being the natural embodiment of the Spiritual concept of “the two shall be one flesh”.
We will so discuss headship, jealousy, submission and rights of expectations within a Godly marriage, as a fact of law and an exhortation and example for the Church.
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Foundations in the Doctrine of Marriage part 3
Eph_5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph_5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Eph 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
Eph 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
In our focal text we have read the firs 4 verses of chapter 6 which is the immediate context unbroken in the epistle of Paul.
We notice that the Apostle attaches Childrens obedience next to the great mystery of the Church resident in marriage. That is the lesson we have been dually focusing on, that Christ is the Head of the Church, the church is a bride and Christ Jesus is her head, her husband and her lord. The Church is called to all-encompassing submission in everything, in all aspects of life unto Christ’s word. Likewise, the wife is to pattern this submission as she reverences her husband.
The husband is to be a Christlike example, to love his wife and cherish her, nourish her as Christ cares for the church, being the Saviour of the body, so the husband is to be the Saviour of the wife in the marriage, as Christ washed with his word the Church cleansing it and purifying it, so the Husband is commanded to do likewise, to offer and teach sound doctrine, instructive lessons of what he desires out of his pure relationship in his marriage.
I mentioned that in so theological systems this section of scripture is used to teach.
It is highly important to know what is at stake in a divorce, a separation or an abandonment of marriage:
Such is a declaration that I am not a Christian. That is that a man can forsake his wife, is as saying Christ can forsake his church. For a wife to forsake her husband is like the church leaving Christ.
Only by acknowledging oneself as not a Christian can one’s marriage be dissolved, especially once this knowledge is known to be so.
There are provisions in God’s law for divorce, and there are times when divorce is the Godly option for the Godly man or woman, but this act must be rendered in the opposite way for the one being divorced, that is the divorced is godless. There is no middle ground, where scripture gives the possibility for both parties to destroy the marital representation of Christ’s church and presume on the other side of the divorce that both are Christians.
At the very least it must be said that at the time of the divorce, there was a hard heart involved, and un-gospel penetrated heart not bound by the Spirit to the Law of God.
And the presumption is only 2 fold:
Either the Man has made his wife’s life bitter in the way of Exo_21:10
A well there are also provisions for a separation in the case of abusive in the 26th and 27 verse of this same chapter.
Or that a man has found some uncleanness or uncovering as stated in Deu_24:1
I am hoping to cover a few heads of discussion.
1. children are the embodiment of marriage, as the next generation they will be affected by the actions of mother and father.
We will either aid or stifle the next generation by our conduct as fathers and mothers.
2. That marriage between 2 Christians is an in-dissolvable union hypothetically.
3. That particular conduct is appointed to men and women by God’s law for men and women
4. and it is the breaking of God’s law in a marriage in a willful way that constitutes a lawful divorce
Unto the Believers, and Believers only, Paul teaches the Law thusly:
1Co_7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Unto the Christian married to a non-Christian Paul says:
1Co_7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
Paul’s learned advice is to preserve the marriage for the sake of for the sake of the unbelieving husband or wife and for the sake of the children.
In such away we have the example of those who are not part of the Church by confession and for the true Church to have hope of rubbing off on those who will abide our leadership and ministry, and fellowship. This is not in tolerance of idolatry or some other excommunicable sin, but in the case of a fellow who is like an unbelieving wife is willing to abide with Christians.
Here we find that Children are a focus in marriage, a concern, and in what way marriage will affect them as the next generation. In the Church environment, with Christ as the Husband, the perfect Husband, and the Church the bride, Israel who is subjected to her Head’s Word and Law, that the Children born to us as the Church, and born to those with in our fellowships who have yet to come to the knowledge of Christ in salvation in a personal way, who have yet to be converted, the children of the church, that is of Godly fathers and mothers, should be brought up abiding in the church setting, in the Christian home with hopes in our hearts that they will be made holy, and be drawn to Christ themselves.
This is the generational hope of the church, not just in the family bond but in the bond of a church family, un-related in the natural nuclear way.
1Ti_2:1 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,
1Ti 2:2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.
1Ti 2:3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior,
1Ti 2:4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.
1Ti 2:5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,
1Ti 2:6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.
1Ti 2:7 For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle (I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.
1Ti 2:8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;
1Ti 2:9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,
1Ti 2:10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
1Ti 2:11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.
1Ti 2:12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
1Ti 2:13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve;
1Ti 2:14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
1Ti 2:15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Tit_2:1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
Tit 2:2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
Tit 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Tit 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tit 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Tit_2:6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
Tit 2:7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
Tit 2:8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
1Pe_3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1Pe 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pe 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1Pe 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pe 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Headship and hair as a symbolic reality and practice to understand by God’s Law
1Co 11:2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.
1Co 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1Co 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
1Co 11:5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
1Co 11:6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
1Co 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
1Co 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1Co 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
1Co 11:10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
1Co 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
1Co 11:12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.
1Co 11:13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1Co 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
1Co 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
1Co 11:16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.
Num_5:11 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Num 5:12 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man’s wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him,
LXX. Whosesoever wife shall transgress against him, and slight and despise him,
Num 5:13 And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner;
Num 5:14 And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:
Num 5:15 Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance.
Num 5:16 And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the LORD:
Num 5:17 And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water:
Num 5:18 And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover H6544 the woman’s head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:
(“and uncover the woman’s head” means to remove her hair, and the Hebrew word used here found in Strong’s H6544: פָּרַע :paw-rah’
A primitive root; to loosen; by implication to expose, dismiss; figuratively absolve, begin: – avenge, avoid, bare, go back, let, (make) naked, set at nought, perish, refuse, uncover.
This Word is used multiple times in scripture to specifically used to speak of the shaving of the head. See these Scriptures where the word is used: Exo_5:4; Exo_32:25; Lev_10:6; Lev_13:45; Lev_21:10.)
Num_5:19 And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse:
Num 5:20 But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband:
Num 5:21 Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell;
Num 5:22 And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.
Num 5:23 And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot them out with the bitter water:
Num 5:24 And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter.
Num 5:25 Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman’s hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar:
Num 5:26 And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water.
Num 5:27 And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.
Num 5:28 And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.
Num 5:29 This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled;
Num 5:30 Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.
Num 5:31 Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.
Deu_21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
Deu 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
Deu 21:12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
Deu 21:13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.