Foundations in the Doctrine of Marriage
In this message we are going to Consider the nature of renewed and regenerated men and women as they commit to a life of dominion through the help of the Holy Spirit within the God ordained union of Holy Matrimony.
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Eph_5:1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
Eph 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Eph 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Eph 5:10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
Eph 5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Eph 5:13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Eph 5:14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
Eph 5:15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Eph 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Eph 5:17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Eph 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Eph 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
Eph 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
On account of the solemnity of the Marriage of my eldest daughter, the first marriage in our home, I have chosen to offer a few messages until the wedding in just 3 weeks to bring to all of our remembrance the importance of having a solid covenantal and theological basis for marriage. As a Church, as small as one might be in numbers it is our duty to encourage and support the family structure which we are comprised of.
If you noticed the text which we will be using as a guide for these few messages you will see how that the chapter does not begin with Marriage but it begins with Childhood in a spiritual sense.
The Texts says:
Eph_5:1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
Eph 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us…
Before this point in the epistle, Paul was teaching of the Renewal of Spirit, the New Man in
He says:
Eph_4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
And so this following God as a dear Child, this walk in love as Christ as Christ loved his church even dying for it… this walk is the result of a renewal and the result of a new man which God created by use of Jesus Christ’s imputed righteousness and Christ’s true holiness, of which he gave us a place with in to walk and follow.
If you consider the Christ righteousness and true holiness, think of it as a room, a place, a place which God created like a garden in spiritual places, a new world and there He set you as a renewed Dear Child of God. But it is in this spiritual place God creates us until and renews us until the resurrection where the renewed man and the fallen flesh man are reconciled into one body and victory is totally accomplished in all realms of our existence.
But until then we have a struggle, let me show you what God is doing in one aspect of our renewed life before resurrection and the last day, but with in this righteousness and set apart place:
You will notice similar language:
Gen_1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
This is the way God made man before the fall and in Jesus’ Righteousness and holiness we are given a place for this creation to start afresh.
If you see here there is a design God has in mind for Adam’s folk since the beginning, and that is to be in the attributes of God, righteous and holy are among those attributes of likeness which God had intended for us, and yet through the fall these likenesses are in a state of corruption, death, and we were in need of this place of renewal and this new creation to be rectified, redeemed of such a fall.
And tightly tied to this dominion spoken of is the family also spoken of, seen in the smallest family unit a male and female created in His likeness and in His image.
God in his desire for man to have likeness of righteousness and true holiness as His own, you see God also blessing the pair of them saying in
Gen_1:28 … Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…
So the very institution of Marriage is ordained before the fall, and therefore when Paul is speaking of this renewed state and new man, which renders us afresh a dear child of God to follow Him and walk like Him and be like him- in his likeness, we have no reason to say marriage, the male and female union is not in scope, no rather we have multiple positive affirmations that show us that within the Christian life devoted to Christ’s dominion the marriage institution and all the functions of fruitfulness and multiplicity, plenishment are renewed unto a Godly use and image as well.
This is most primary aspect of marriage for the Christian family.
Let me continue to show why from Eph 5, for after Paul speaks of Christ’s sweet sacrifice for his bride, his church, Paul lists elements that are not to be part within the sanctified place of true holiness, things not righteous.
Eph_5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Paul’s lesson is this, in the New man these things are foreign objects, and if one does not recognize these objects are foreign material then they are not saints but children of wrath and therefore not new men, no, but those slated to not enter the Kingdom of Christ and God. There for He says you can’t willfully partake, you have an likeness of light now, you were dark but like creation you are Light like God now and you walk as if you were the offspring of Light, therefore Paul brings that coupled phrase up again:
Eph_5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
It is by this likeness we are remade in that we:
Eph 5:10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
and we are commanded to walk circumspectly:
Eph 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Eph 5:17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
The renewed Child of Light shines for God’s praises Paul says:
Eph 5:19 …in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
Eph 5:20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
And it is here at this point in teaching the lesson of what “becomes saints” that Paul takes the word’s Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
and He turns the conversation of renewal, the New Adam directly and squarely upon the family, specifically the marriage union.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Paul has taken the concept of submitting and applied it to the first use of this principle, where God makes in the order of creation the submission of one person to another and that lead him directly to the relationship of the wife towards the husband in marriage.
And if you notice, the minister Paul is ministering to Word to the Woman to the wife on this matter, and he does not apply the commandment on how to deal with rebellious sin after the fall, but rather he speaks to her as a dear child of God renewed in righteousness and holiness, and he simple says that which should be acceptable to her renewed state:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
Go to
Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Do you see the difference between the Spirit and the Letter here? The Spirit is in compliance with the letter, but not because of the force of law, but because the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth, and
Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another.
This foundation is so important, this is the very order of the male and female created in the likeness of God, that they both be fruitful in the spirit unto dominion more than they be fruitful and multiply in children unto population.
Let us consider this perspective then all the more, the nature desire of the Christian woman, the Renewed woman the New Adamic creature not just in the image but in the likeness of righteousness and true holiness which comes by Jesus Christ and His supernatural imputation.
Look at how your wife is to look at you husband?
Wife look at how you are look upon your husband and drink deep of these words they are not spoken in vain!
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ”
What a responsibility that is placed upon us men to… don’t focus on the headship alone, no, focus on the purpose of the headship “the savior of the body”.
The whole reason wives are to safely trust in their husbands is for salvation, safety… this is God’s design.
Yes, this does mean the man sets the rules of the house, and the man leads in authority, but it also means that the end of every rule and every authoritative measure should be this principle ‘salvation of the couple, salvation of the family, salvation of the one body”
Turn with me to
Gen_2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The language here the language of the body, bone, flesh, nakedness: All of this is a true representation of One flesh.
The unity of the Church is accordingly monitored in the unity of the husband care for the salvation of the body as it truly and nakedly is and wife’s submission to her husband as God’s appointed head and savior.
Listen to what Paul says again to men of the renewed mind, to men who are the New Adam in Spirit:
Eph_5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Do you realize that this is phrased as a command? “Husbands, love your wives”
Like the woman’s was commanded to submit but not by the letter, but by the Spirit’s fruit, so here as much as a woman id commanded to submit we are commanded to love.
I will sadly, say that I have heard sin espoused on both side of this command, men and women, women who say I don’t submit to my husband as I should, and husband’s who say I don’t love my wife as I should. But I certainly have heard enough bull headship men who feel it is their responsibility to boast themselves in their headship and how their wife is bow to it, than there are men who boast themselves in their love towards their wife who they are appointed as savior over.
If you look at the work of Christ and see the pattern it sets of accomplishing this command “Husbands, love your wives” it very much leads us back to those things Paul listed the “do not become Saints”.
Look at what the Husband’s headship is given for in saving the body:
Husband’s must give themselves to:
- sanctify
- cleansing & washing of water by the word,
- present himself a glorious family,
- not having spot,
- not having a spot or wrinkle
- not having any such thing;
- to be holy
- to be without blemish.Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
- not to hate his own flesh;
- but to nourishes &cherishes his own flesh
Even as the Lord nourishes & cherishes the church.
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